This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
