Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize