would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
