i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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