my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
