No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
