Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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