ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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