you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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