Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
