Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
