i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
