Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
