i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
