Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize