After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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