hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
