it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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