That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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