I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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