i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I need to calm my uterus...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
