she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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