I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize