The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My breasts were aching with rage.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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