Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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