I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
