i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
