Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
