My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize