how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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