I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
