Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that