I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.