You're completely useless in the revolution.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
