You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.