Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Will you blow on my dice?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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