My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
