He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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