Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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