i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sorry about my life...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
