In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
