i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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