spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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