Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
