Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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