Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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