what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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