I love black thongs
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
