it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
