Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
