I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
