so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
