I wannas sexs uuuuu
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
