She's JV to your varsity
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
