Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
