Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
