So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
