Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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