We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
