I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
