Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
