u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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