I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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