dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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