Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
