I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I FOUND THE LEGS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
