Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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