How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
