I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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