Whod you bang
My hand turned me down
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
