i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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